Many parents feel troubled when they see their children playing with computers and have sought my advice to resolve the problem. Among them was a Taiwanese secondary school teacher who asked me with a face full of sorrow: “My child sits in front of the computer every day from morning till night. Though I earnestly talk to him and ask him not to, he refuses to listen. I am troubled over this!” I asked her: “How did your child fare in his school examination?” Secondary school teacher: “Average.” I asked: “Does he have physical disability?” Secondary school teacher: “ No.” I told her: “Congratulations!” Secondary school teacher: “ Why did you congratulate me? He is so disobedient.” I replied: “Congratulations on having a good child! At least his mental development and physical health is normal. You have to feel grateful for this mere fact. Do you know a lot of women desire to have children but cannot conceive? These women must be very envious of you! Besides, your child is healthy and able-bodied. What else do you have to grumble about?” Moreover, in this modern age, people use computers to earn a living. Every job requires the use of computers. If a child does not know how to use computers, he would not be able to find a job in the future; when he fails to find a job, you would regret it then and blame yourself for not letting him play with computers! We only need to worry if a child shows no interest in computers! As to how we can hone his computer literacy skill, that is dependent on parental guidance. For instance, ask your child to take photos of you and then modify them to how he thinks you looked like when you were 18 years old. That is what I would call guiding him properly. In this way, you are developing his computer skills over time. After listening to my words, she acknowledged the truth of my words and adopted an understanding and accommodating mindset to think from her child’s perspective. Her relationship with her child is now no longer opposing and strained. She does not look sorrowful now whenever she sees her child playing with computers.
家长该给孩子玩电脑吗？ 不少家长为了孩子玩电脑而伤透脑筋，问我该如何来解决这个问题。其中就有台湾的一位中学老师满面愁容地问我：「我的孩子一天到晚玩电脑，半夜才睡觉，我苦口婆心的劝他，他就是不听，让我真的很心烦了！」 我问她：「妳的孩子成绩怎么样？」 中学老师：「普通。」 我问：「他有残疾吗？」 中学老师：「没有。」 我说：「哎呀，恭喜妳啊！」 中学老师：「恭喜我什么啊？他那么不听话。」 我说：「恭喜妳生了个好孩子啊！最起码他的智力和身体都是正常的，这就值得恭喜了。」你知道多少女人期盼能生个孩子却办不到，那些女人多羡慕你！更何况妳的孩子身体健康，四肢健全，妳还有什么好抱怨的？再说，电脑是现代人谋生的工具，各行各业都必须用到电脑，孩子如果没有具备基本的电脑技能，将来是找不到工作的；当他找不到工作时，妳才会气自己当初为什么不让他多玩电脑呢！如果孩子对电脑没兴趣，我们才要担心呢！至于如何让孩子的电脑技能更熟练精确，重点在于父母的正确引导。比方说，请孩子帮妳拍张照片，再请他帮妳修成十八岁的模样，这就是正确的引导，在不知不觉间培养孩子的电脑技能。 听完我的一番话之后，她也认清了这个事实，改变了想法，用理解和包容去换位思考，亲子之间的互动也不再对立，看到孩子玩电脑也不再满面愁容了。
Commentary by Jerome:
Problems are only problems when you see them as problems. Change your perspective of the problem and you will find that actually there is nothing to worry or fuss about. In fact, the other perspective may even be better than yours. Learn to be more accepting and tolerant!
More information available at:
1) Master Jin Bodhi Facebook
2) Official Bodhi Meditation Website
Author:
Jerome is a Buddhist practitioner that has learnt from Theravada, Mahayana and Tibetan traditions and is still learning! He first learnt meditation and Dharma from Theravadan monks and practitioners in the lineage of the Arahant Venerable Amatha Gavesi Maha Thero from Sri Lankaramaya Buddhist temple in Singapore. Then, he completed a Diploma in Buddhism from the Buddhist and Pali College in 2016. He also learnt from Zen Master Wu Jue Miao Tian (85th Zen Patriach) from the LingJi lineage in Taiwan in 2014 - 2015. Subsequently, he learnt from Garchen Rinpoche from the Drigar Thubten Dargye Ling tradition (Tibetan) and attended annual Om Mani Padme Hum and Om Ami Dewa Hrih retreats from 2015 till date. Currently, he is a disciple of Master Jin Bodhi (Mahayana) from Bodhi Meditation in Singapore and is an active volunteer there. Master Jin Bodhi is his main Dharma teacher. Jerome feels that Buddhism is not a religion but is a practical way to reduce our life's problems. The essence of Buddhism is not in the books or sutras but in the way we apply it into our lives. Having understood some aspects of Buddha's teaching, he wants to give back to the society and hopes to share his insights with everyone who has the affinity with him.
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